A judge ruled this week that a woman cannot renegotiate her divorce settlement with her ex-husband, despite the fact that his shares have increased in value by as much as four times.

Kim Walkden took her ex-husband Martin to court in a bid to gain some of the money that he received when his company was bought out. The couple were married in 1986, and then divorced twenty years later in 2006. Then just two years later Martin’s company ‘Triesse’ was taken over and he received £3.8 million in the deal.

Originally Kim Walkden received £482,000 from the divorce, which was based on the company’s value of £800,000. As a result of the takeover, Kim took her ex-husband back to court in York.

The divorce lawyer for Martin Walkden, Nicholas Francis QC, made the point that his case was the exact opposite of one rejected by the courts two months ago when Brian Myerson attempted to have divorce settlement reduced because he suffering in the recession.

Lord Justice Thorpe ruled that Kim Walkden could not renegotiate her settlement as the couple had a ‘clean break’ originally.

Lord Justice Wall added that Martin Walkden’s divorce lawyer was correct in his analogy to the previous case, saying that he was:

Entitled to describe this case as the flipside of the decision of this court in Myerson v Myerson.

Divorce affects people in different ways, and perennial sufferer Peter Andre has been affected by his impending divorce from former glamour model Katie Price (aka Jordan) by a drastic weight loss.

Peter arrived back in the UK this week and looks even lighter than he did before he left, showing that the signs of divorce are hitting the former pop star hard. Peter admitted that he has lost a stone in weight since his split from his wife.

Peter was away in Cyprus with his three children, while the press were concentrating on printing photos of his estranged wife Katie, partying hard in Ibiza.

Peter has promised his fans that he will bulk back up and they shouldn’t fear for his health:

I’ve not lost any more weight! I’m actually getting my appetite back and I am hoping to get stuck into my exercise again soon.

One noticeable thing about Peter was that he still has the tattoo with his wife’s name on it, which presumably he will have removed at some point following the move by Katie to have her tattoo with Peter’s name crossed out on her body.

Peter is expected to give the three children back to his estranged wife some time next week.

With the recession, divorce rates are expected to increase. However, divorces don’t come for free and with the recession you are probably a little strapped for cash, even if you can afford the essentials a divorce probably isn’t incorporated into your monthly budget. You’ve then got the added worry of how you’re going to manage on just one salary, even more of a worry if you have children to think of.

In order to minimise the financial strain, on both your parts, it is necessary to take a few steps to ensure that you don’t end up bankrupt. Make sure that you know what benefits you’re entitled to, especially if you’re now a single mother. If you’re going to have to pay maintenance for your children then make sure that you account for it each month so that you don’t overspend in other areas. Also, if you’re going to have to move out of your home then it would be wise to figure out what money you need to finance this, deposits for either buying or renting a new place etc.

Start doing this when you’ve made the decision to get a divorce, so that it doesn’t make such a hole in your wallet when the time comes to fork out a load of money. If you are lucky enough to remain on good terms with each other then hopefully you’ll be able to split your assets fairly, so that one doesn’t get left with useless items and the other with all the furniture/crockery etc. This way you help each other to minimise your costs after to the divorce.

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a divorced man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of another wife.”

Remarriage is undoubtedly becoming a less taboo subject matter. Despite divorce being a tiring and hurtful process, not all divorcees give up on love, or indeed the institute of marriage.

Although many may not feel comfortable wearing their “Marriage Record” on their sleeve, being divorced these days is nothing to feel ashamed of. This particularly applies to re-entering the dating world. From an outsider’s perspective, there are undoubtedly advantages of dating a divorcee. For example, someone who has already been down the aisle is likely to have made relationship mistakes and learned from them.

Generally speaking, people nowadays are more accepting of divorce and remarriage. However, prejudice against divorcees is still present. With negative labels pinned on the previously married community such as ‘career divorcee’ and ‘serial divorcee’ some may find it difficult to even consider looking for love again. However, it is important to remember that every divorce and relationship is different according to the individuals involved. Remarriage and even just dating after divorce may not be for everyone, but one should never say never when it comes to finding love.

For those who are itching to get remarried, it is vital to check with your divorce lawyer the exact process. It is not as simple as you may think. In order to remarry you must be separated for twelve months and a day. You must also wait out the ‘decree nisi for dissolution of marriage’ period which is normally one month. In some cases, the Court may wish to see further evidence that you have done as much as you possibly can to save your previous marriage.

Imagine the scenario; you are in the middle of a divorce…. you’re frazzled, tired, upset and downbeat. In the settlement you agree to give your partner that old stack of books that stands like a dusty monument in the spare room, after all why would you want them?

Some weeks later you find out that each of those ratty novels was a rare first addition worth £5,000… it’s an unlikely situation but not an impossible one and it highlights the need for adequate appraisals in the divorce process. While it is typical for divorcing couples to put effort and energy into appraising the value of their home, it is much rarer for its contents to be as effectively scrutinised against the market. The only way that a settlement can be truly representative of a divorcing couple’s assets, and be divided in which ever manner they choose, is if their material goods have had a clear valuation. The value of old antiques and other possessions can be surprisingly high and, if this proves true for you, that will invariably affect the way you go about the divorce proceedings.

It may seem like an additional costs at a time when you really don’t need one, the price of evaluation can range hugely but often communities host ‘appraisal days’ which are cheaper, but it could well save you a lot of money in the long run.

Many divorce solicitors will be able to ‘point you in the right direction’ in terms of finding a qualified appraiser, and it means that you will be able to embark on the ragged road of divorce as an informed and empowered party. Going into a settlement with no idea of the value of your shared accumulated material goods is like fighting blind; dangerous and, eventually, painful. Divorces are inherently expensive, with some people arguing over settlements for months, but knowing exactly what everything’s market value is can cut down on time arguing over settlement agreements considerably. This applies most obviously to big, expensive items which you have acquired throughout the course of the marriage; but it may also be a good idea to take along any antiques or things which may be of historic significance - as these may well be the most surprisingly valuable. Appraisals are just one step in protecting your personal assets, but it is a simple and often overlooked one.

You cannot put a price on the love and laughter and lessons learnt in a marriage, or on the things you found out about yourself in its decline, or on the new person you will become after the divorce storm has died down and you have rebuilt your life from the wreckage. You can’t appraise years of memories or the heart-ache of having to say good-bye; but you can learn the value of each of your possessions, and after all that is all they are, and use that information to help make the settlement process a swift, precise and fair one.

Many people go through a ‘grieving period’ when their divorce takes place. The death of a relationship can be felt as deeply as the death of a loved one. While it is quite natural to grieve in this way, there may be occasions when prolonged grieving becomes counter productive, even maladaptive - and this can start to cause problems in relationships with friends and family.

It’s often all too easy to continue to muse over the ‘what ifs’ of any relationship: what if I had said this, what if we had done that. Becoming preoccupied with events that might have taken place or conversations that never happened can be as futile as continuing with the ‘blame game’. Putting things into some kind of perspective often helps.

Good Times

In any relationship there are normally good times and bad times, good years and bad years. When things go wrong we tend to focus on the bad times. Thinking about the good times can give you more resources to cope with the change happening in your life. For example, if you had five happy years with your ex-partner, think about all the people who never get that amount of happiness in any relationship. The fact that you have had good times is also an indication of your success at building relationships – and this is of paramount importance for the future.

Re-framing

This way of re-examining relationships is called re-framing. Re-framing gives us an opportunity to look at the way we approach situations and to change problems into opportunities. One of the ways in which we can do this is to examine the statements we make about our lives to other people, and ourselves, and try to restate these in more positive terms. For example, the statement: “I always spend too much money on clothes” can also be stated, more positively as: “I’m the kind of person who cares very much about my appearance.” Psychologists have found that re-framing negative statements into positive ones has a startlingly beneficial effect on mood, outlook and even health.

A New Start

Divorce is a way of starting afresh. Look at the positive things in your life – the things you are proud of accomplishing and the people who know and love you. Look at the future as an opportunity, a challenge. Change does not have to be painful – it can be exciting, wonderful and adventurous. Nobody knows what the future has in store, but if you face up to it with positivity and creativity, you will find yourself starting to enjoy life (and relationships) again.

At some point in our lives all of us have experienced that empty sensation that is inevitably associated with the cease of any relationship, be it treasured or not. No separation is ever easy, let alone a divorce. Whether it’s been a long time coming or is a sudden reality, nobody is ever really prepared for what a divorce process actually entails.

Divorce papers, separation rights, economical issues, the kids, there seems to be a million and one reasons against filing for divorce and only one in favour. It’s this one reason in particular, however, that should help us to pursue life after divorce. An unoccupied mind is a dangerous tool, it only allows us to reminisce and question which way we should turn, and therefore we should fill our empty hours with stimulating activities which boost our self esteem and open doors to new acquaintances and a meaningful future.

Voluntary work could be a valid option, time and economical situation permitting. Not only does it bring purpose to our lives, but it soaks up those empty hours, otherwise dedicated to an absent partner, whilst actively contributing to a worthy cause. Quality time is also a constructive activity, be it with your children or simply on your own. However quality time shouldn’t be confused with feeling sorry for yourself. Grieving knows no time boundaries, but life does. Don’t wish it away, recognise that it forms a valuable part of the learning process and will act as a shield in future relationships.

Never be afraid to move on, change does not mean failure and letting go often seems to be the key to peace and happiness.

The very word “divorce” carries with it a stigma, in the eyes of many at least. To many people it suggests failure, the inability to keep a marriage together, or some other fault. Hollywood marriages seem to be based less on love and permanence and more on how quickly the marriage will end and who will end up the richer because of it. Divorce lawyers in novels are portrayed as greedy, unethical monsters whose only thought is to how much they can help their client – and thus themselves – rip off the “enemy” – an enemy who was once supposed to be with until death parted us. All in all, divorce has a bad PR agent, to say the least.

But does this have to be the case? With divorce rates soaring worldwide, it might be better to try and look at it in a different light than to resign oneself to being a “failure”. If everyone thought this way, there would be a lot of self-styled “failures” in the world. Instead, one could think of it as a change, an opportunity to start again. It could even be seen as an act of kindness, an opportunity to free both parties from something that one or both of them is unhappy with. With enough ingenuity, the pain of even the most difficult divorces could be softened, if only a little. And the ability to look a few years into the future – and to try and be positive about what you will see there – can give you an alternative to only seeing the short term misery.

This is considerably oversimplified of course, but if one can make even the slightest change in one’s attitude towards what is often a difficult period, it could make enough of a difference to change one’s whole experience.

If you have never been through a divorce then you may not be aware that a divorce can cause a great deal of emotional pain. For the spouse that suffers this pain, it will often be described as a deep and debilitating pain. It is hard for people that have never been through a divorce to believe what a real pain this is. Sometimes the pain of a divorce can last longer than the marriage did.

Some people will tell you that it feels like you are having a piece of yourself just ripped away. In the beginning you will feel as though it hurts to breathe.
Another reason it hurts so much is that most people who are going through divorce are dealing with so many losses all at the same time. You’re hurting for a broken relationship, of course, and often at the same time, you’re hurting because of that feeling of being betrayed by your spouse. Or maybe you feel betrayed by somebody in your spouse’s family or a friend who you shared in your relationship.

You can also hurt over the changes that occur in your life after a divorce. You might have to change things like what you can afford to buy, where you live, how you might spend your time, what you might want to plan in regards to your future and also how much time you can spend with your children. And while you are trying to deal with all of this you also have to deal with a whole new world such as judges, divorce lawyers or divorce solicitors and court dates.

People who are going through divorce sometimes feel like failures. They experience a sense of shame that is connected to the divorce. This does not mean that you are powerless to do anything to help you deal with the pain. You have many options in taking control if you want to take care of yourself and take control of things in your new life.

There are many sources that focus on helping people who are going through a divorce. Within your own community you can seek assistance from those which could include clergy, community professionals and even relatives and friends who are willing to listen and offer advice they may have. There’s no way to keep it from hurting. But the fact remains that we are stuck with the pain and it just hurts until we find a way to heal from it.

In modern society divorce is so common that it has become a subject which is considered acceptable to discuss casually. With at least one in three marriages ending in divorce the appeal of marriage has decreased and so, it seems has the sanctity.

In the newspapers and on the television we often see just how divorce affects people. A prime example of this would be the divorce between Paul McCartney and Heather Mills in March 2008 following a four year marriage. It was dragged through the media and Heather Mills went to almost every morning television show and magazine available in an attempt to gain sympathy from the public. She finally stopped doing so after she broke down in tears on Ryan Seacrest’s KIIS FM Morning Show. This was a prime example of the stress that fighting in court when trying to settle ownership of assets can cause. Heather Mills wasn’t the first person to have a breakdown due to the stress of divorce.

It can be especially difficult when a relationship has ended on bad terms. Things can also turn nasty if the couple have children. Both parents are entitled to see their children and if one tries to prevent the other then it can lead to further legal action.

When the court battles become too stressful it isn’t uncommon for one of the divorcees to agree to a settlement out of court. This of course reduces the stress and saves divorce lawyers what could be weeks of appearances in court.