Getting divorced is always stressful, but when there are teenage children involved the stress can be far worse. If you’re going through a divorce and you have teenage children, here is some advice on dealing with them and making sure it’s as easy as possible for them to cope.

The teenager might think that the divorce is their fault, it’s important to reassure them that it’s not. Explain why the relationship has broken down and that it’s not their fault. You should be open about the relationship breakdown and discuss the problems faced by the teenage child.

Above all else, don’t be negative about the other parent as the teenage child will still love them and want to be a part of their lives. It’s also important you try to get along with your former partner for the sake of your child.

It’s also important to reassure the teenager that they’ll receive the financial support of both you and the other parent. If you make promises about things you should stick to them, otherwise you risk the eventuality of the teenager playing you off against your former partner.

Finally you should remain involved in their lives as much of possible. Show that just because your relationship with your partner is over, your teenage child isn’t losing a parent as a result.

Going through a divorce can be an expensive thing, but there are some things you can do to make sure you’re adequately prepared for the eventuality of divorce.

Here are few suggestions to make sure you’re ready when divorce does happen.

Have a pre-nuptial agreement
These are not binding in the UK, but judges can take them into consideration when making a decision on the financial settlement.

Plan your expenses
Make sure you prepare for your legal expenses, you don’t want any nasty surprises when you’re struggling for money.

Get a final consent order
You should make sure to get this so that your ex doesn’t return at a later date for more money!

Gather evidence of finances
Make sure you collate evidence of any of your partner’s assets, their financial income and any gains.

Don’t tell your bank
This may seem odd, but your bank could freeze your account if there is a dispute over money, which would leave you without any finances to fight a legal battle.

Keep expenses records
You should record all of your expenses so that you can prove the standard of living that you’re used to.

Get an estimate
If you’re using a divorce lawyer, make sure you ask for an estimate for costs before you begin. You don’t want costs spiralling after you’ve started proceedings.

It can be difficult to remember that your children are also affected by the divorce of their parents, especially when you’re embroiled in a bitter dispute with your ex over custody, access or finances. You do need to remember though that although you no longer get on with your ex, your children still see them as a parent, and they should be respected as such.

Here is some on advice on dealing with a divorce so that it’s as easy as it can be for your children.

Your ex is still a parent
When talking about your ex try to refer to them as the mother or father of your children, rather than your ex-husband or ex-wife. You should realise the importance they have in your children’s lives then and learn to respect them for that, even though you don’t agree with them on other matters.

Don’t run them down in front of the children
It’s important that you don’t bad mouth your ex in front of your children. Your children will be concerned that their parents aren’t as happy as they should be and will wonder where they stand. Reassure your children that both parents still love them and want to be a part of their lives.

Don’t use access to children as a bargaining chip
It’s of the utmost importance that children have regular access to both parents, so you shouldn’t treat access to your children as something with which you can barter for money, property or anything else. Your children have a right to see both parents and you should respect that right.

Remember that your children are intelligent people capable of picking up on your emotions, don’t let your anger or bitterness towards your ex cloud their feelings.

When your parents divorce it can be very difficult coping with the stress, especially for younger children. The grief of having to divide time between two parents who are at odds with each other can be very difficult indeed, but there are some things you can do to make it easier on you, and your parents.

Don’t blame yourself
You may worry that your parents splitting up might have been your fault. It’s rarely anything to do with the children, and there’s certainly nothing you can do about it. Don’t blame yourself for their actions.

Don’t take sides
Typically parents going through divorce can be quite bitter towards each other, and they can sometimes moan about each other to you. Don’t take anyone parent’s side on the matter, just tell them that you love them both. It’s unfair of either parent to put you in the middle of their argument.

Stay in contact with both parents
It’s important for you and for your parents that you have regular with both parents. Not seeing your father will cause him a great deal of distress, and vice versa.

Talk to your friends about it
We all need help and advice every now and then, so confide in your friends about what is going on at home. They may even have experienced a similar thing at home themselves and could advise you on what to expect.

Remember that your parents still want to be a part of your life, even if they no longer want to be a part of each other’s.

Most people aren’t very happy about getting divorced; they see it as a bit of a failure in their life. Something that never quite worked out how they intended, and they’re not prone to advertise the fact that they’re divorced. It’s still a bit of a taboo subject.

This isn’t the case for comedian Sarah Millican however. She not only embraces the fact that she’s divorced; most of her comedy routines are based around the subject

She couples her divorce led routine with a torrent of lewd adult humour, belittling her homely image and softly spoken voice.

My mam does think I’m quite coarse and I don’t think she realises where I get it from, because it’s not from my dad. I get the story-telling side from him, but the rudeness comes from her.

Basically, I look nice and I don’t sound how I look. And there’s another meaning, but you have to see the show to find that out.

Her divorce is a resounding echo of bitterness that’s driven her routines since she started the comedy circuit, and she’s gone from strength to strength.

There are questions that you ask yourself when you split up with someone: “What if no one finds me attractive again? What if I want kids?” Not Nice is what happened, how I got over it and what I want for the future.

Divorce doesn’t have to be the end of a journey, for Sarah it was just the beginning.