Tips for children on coping with divorce
When your parents divorce it can be very difficult coping with the stress, especially for younger children. The grief of having to divide time between two parents who are at odds with each other can be very difficult indeed, but there are some things you can do to make it easier on you, and your parents.
Don’t blame yourself
You may worry that your parents splitting up might have been your fault. It’s rarely anything to do with the children, and there’s certainly nothing you can do about it. Don’t blame yourself for their actions.
Don’t take sides
Typically parents going through divorce can be quite bitter towards each other, and they can sometimes moan about each other to you. Don’t take anyone parent’s side on the matter, just tell them that you love them both. It’s unfair of either parent to put you in the middle of their argument.
Stay in contact with both parents
It’s important for you and for your parents that you have regular with both parents. Not seeing your father will cause him a great deal of distress, and vice versa.
Talk to your friends about it
We all need help and advice every now and then, so confide in your friends about what is going on at home. They may even have experienced a similar thing at home themselves and could advise you on what to expect.
Remember that your parents still want to be a part of your life, even if they no longer want to be a part of each other’s.
Hello…
Regarding your article about helping kids through divorce, I have a tool that I’m sure you’ll be interested in adding to your arsenal for children and their parents to use to help them through the divorce process! I’ve recently illustrated the award-winning children’s book “You and Me Make Three” which is sold in conjunction with B.B. the Bear (manufactured by Build-A-Bear Workshop). On each page is a Parent Tip from the court mandated SMILE Program co-authored by Richard S. Victor (an Oprah Show alumni). My partners and I (all divorced women) are certified in the Sandcastles Program by M. Gary Neuman, M.S., LMHC (Oprah’s “Go-To” expert). I believe that our product will be an asset to your “Suggested Reading”. We believe that educating both parents and children with the help of our book will open lines of communication between the two. Children will no longer imagine and wonder ‘why’ their parents are divorcing, and the advice to parents on each page will help them address difficult issues with their kids and how to treat each other appropriately to lessen the negative impact on their children. The publisher of the book, EDCO Publishing, is owned by a former teacher of 25 years. Textbooks and educational material are her main production. The mission statement of our company is “A B.B. Book and Bear in Every School in America!”. We hold charitable book launches/fund-raisers that are geared to placing book and bear packages in schools and guidance counselor’s offices and libraires through contributions from the local community. Please check our website, http://www.bbseries.com. Remember, “The greatest gift you can give to your child is the right to love both parents equally”. Thank You for putting kids first! Heather Drescher, Illlustrator “YOU and ME MAKE THREE”
Heather Drescher
Comment by Heather Drescher — October 24, 2008 @ 3:32 pm